Secret Agents and Betrayal, The Main/Alt Dilemma

Alts (alternative character/avatar) are inevitable.  I don't know an avie in SL that hasn't come from a main (main/original avatar) or gone off to live as an alt.  I find that typically a person takes an alt to escape the drama of their main, to explore SL in peace (away from the hustle and bustle of their main's active lifestyle), or perhaps to engage in behaviors that might not otherwise be acceptable among their current social circle.

Not many people know that Queen started as an alt.  The avatars that my original main spent time with were indulging in a life of drama.  The main could not log on without a "we need to talk."  Meanwhile, my mind was curious about other aspects of SL, places that I wanted to explore first on my own.  Ummmm, in private. *winks*  And so I decided it was time for a new avatar, an alt.  Being a Lucky Chair fanatic I thought a Q name would be lucrative, thus Queen was born.  Eventually, Queen's life became much more fun than the main's.  The new avatars and new experiences kept her coming back and slowly the original avatar faded away and Queen morphed into my main.

During that time I recall having pangs of guilt about not logging in as the main.  About not even stopping in to say hello. I suspected the friends the main had wondered why I was logging in less often, but I didn't really think they'd be bothered by my absence.  As it turns out, the friends of my main were hurt that I went away without telling them.  At the time I felt bad about it, but I couldn't really relate to what they felt.

 

Recently I've have a few experiences with my old friends disappearing because their main becomes so entangled in drama that it's easier to start a new life in a new sim.  Often I don't know what happened until I find later they entered witness protection program . . . as an alt.

I've also made new friends, who are alts coming in for one reason or another.  But, not yet ready to commit to their alt, they take their enjoyment of Queen and disappear.

Then of course are the avatars running around as secret agent alts coming in to spy on someone.  Come on, I know you've done it. 

At what point does the person's actions cross from a need for privacy into an act of betrayal?

A few weeks ago a good friend who was gone for a few months came back into the SLworld.  I should have been elated, but I was disturbed and upset.  I did not know it was her.  She was outed by a mutual friend.  Can you imagine the thoughts running through my mind?  How could she abandon me like she did and not even come back and say as much as a hello?  It was this moment that I felt as though all that we had experienced was for nothing.  Our minds had clicked so well, we had so many good times together, all the memories of the fun and frolicking were now marred by her betrayal of our friendship.  

It was as though she had tossed me into the wastebasket along with the other trash she had tossed out when she abandoned her main.  I recognized that she needed a break, and maybe even a fresh start, but she didn't take me with!  I worked myself into a fantastic frenzy.  And just as I was peaking an IM popped up.  Hello. Ahhhh, it was her!  As it turns out, her reintroduction to SLociety was not as she planned and we quickly were up to our old banter.  But...ugh...it was a horrible feeling.

And so it seems that the closer the friendship, the tighter the bond, the more likely that hiding an alt will be a crushing blow to those one leaves behind.  The next time your alt is out for naughty fun, secret agent duty, or escaping from a crazed ex don't forget those people behind the avatar that have invested time, emotion, and thoughtfulness into your friendship.