Thursday, August 28, 2008

Pearls of Wisdom - It ain't my business... IT IS NOW!!

I recently wrote a post in which I shared my thoughts on our responsibilities to others in the world of Second Life.  After I wrote the piece I understood that the problem between AvieA and AvieB had subsided.  However, it is my sad duty to report that not only has the issue that inspired the previous post not died down, but rather it is festering and infecting the lives of others in the community.

I was a witness to the problem first hand two nights ago and I'm still working through my head how to cope with this situation.  Initially I was LIVID. Adrenaline rush kinda LIVID. Friends and I (including AvieA) were having a great time at a party when AvieB tp'd in and laid out some heavy handed bullying techniques which brought the fun to a screeching halt.  I was nuts out of my mind that someone could do that, it was ridiculous! Really, it was the most insane thing I've seen someone do for.....I don't know....forever!!  I quickly removed myself from the situation to avoid taking rash action and thus lowering myself to AvieB's level.  But I haven't stopped thinking about what happened.  It was too bizarre!  Here I had finally had an opportunity to see something that up until now had been hearsay.

I've considered whether to include the details above in writing this post because I don't want to fuel this insanity. But I decided at least this part of the story is necessary to give insight as to how deeply this has all affected me.  

You might wonder why I'm spending so much time thinking about this.  Why do I really care? I'd say see my previous post.  But also, when I see this happening I see a failure of humanity and it makes me sad.  I can't wrap my mind around AvieB's behavior.  I can't fathom why months later she is still continuing with this issue instead of dropping it and moving on. I've even tried to consider her side of the story. But I still don't understand what would compel her to be aggressive and take affirmative steps to bring another person down as I witnessed the other night. I will probably never understand.

At times like this I step out of Queen's brain into my RL person because SL can sometimes be a tricky and deceitful little bastard.  I try to get some perspective by looking through the RL lens. Here, AvieA and AvieB, two RL people, are sitting at their keyboards and operating avatars as if they're reading off of an old Days of Our Lives script.  But the problem is, at least from what I perceive, at least one of them is not having fun doing it.  

What's going on in AvieB's RL life, mind, soul that she delights in her around the world power trip? I've seen RL pictures of AvieB because she's made them public. I've looked into a picture of her RL eyes as she poses with a RL friend.  She looks like a happy attractive person with friends and activities to fulfill her life.  I can't imagine what is so horrible in a person's RL that they have to come into Second Life and act the way they do.  I rarely find answers when I wonder. And here instead, I found compassion for the person behind AvieB.  My heart goes out to the RL person who needs to live in a persona whose existence seems to depend on wielding superficial powers that result in another's misery.  

This was a hard post to write.   I hesitated to write it because I'm not interested in engaging with either AvieA or AvieB to "take sides" and I fear there may be some backlash from this post. But I also know that whether we're in Second Life, or another social internet platform, there is a lesson to be learned from these people. I feel for both of these people because they are caught up in the nastier side of Second Life where people forget that there are humans behind the avie. Maybe, just maybe, they might read this and it might help.  If not them, then maybe it will help another by reminding them that even in a world of pixels the way we conduct ourselves affects the people around us.  

At times like this I am thankful for my RL and SL and the family, friends and love I have in both RL and SL that have helped me to develop the strength and thoughtfulness to be mindful of others and to never have to bring another person down in order to boost myself up.

Finally, Second Life is a place to be anything you want to be, do anything you want to do.  In the immortal words of Viv Savage, "Have... a good time... all the time."

Sunday, August 24, 2008

A change is in the air.

I know I'm not the only one that feels it.  The end of summer and the beginning of the school year has always signified change.  But I've noticed this week in SL that change is coming.  Actually, it's here.  The world of SL is always evolving, friends come and go, buildings go up and then disappear over night.  These events are usually just a part of life, but sometimes things shift so drastically that one can't help but notice and be forced to react.  

It may have started when my very good friend, Digital Francis, left for a 3 week vacation.  I missed him before he left.  And each day I miss seeing him online, but at least I'm comforted to know he'll return.  To the contrary there are others I don't think I'll see again.  I've finally come to accept that a couple of good friends have moved on to alts, and (cover your ears) to Real Life.   Meanwhile a few of my friends have entered into relationships, and while I'm happy for them this can also mean that they aren't in my SLife as much or they are there but different.  Then recently some friends have ended relationships, endured heartbreak, and severed ties with others, all of which affects my own interaction with them.

While some these events don't always impact me directly, they at least signify that SLife is different.  I'm averse to change.  It makes me uncomfortable.  So, when SL slaps me in the face with change I get a bit sad......ummm.......melancholy.  

I've found that, much like in RL, if I just make adjustments I can cope and often I can grow. I usually go back to the basics, back to what I enjoy most in SLife.  I'll play with my prims, explore random sims, and re-visit old friends.  I've also learned that this is the period where new friendships grow, and old friendships can be rekindled.  While there is an uneasiness about what the future holds I must embrace this moment as a learning experience and as a gateway to new adventures in my SLife.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Gratuitous Piccy - queenc in polaroid

Originally uploaded by Queen Coronet

I try to learn new things in photoshop. I try.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Time Zones @ Digital Nation

As a delegate of Digital Nation (and the Digital Nation Boss) I had the great pleasure to present Time Zones @ Digital Nation this past Sunday.  I could not have done it without the lovely Aurora Fairey who worked hard with me to put this together and bring the event to life.  And of course Digital Francis, a good friend and an inspiration. (love you, Digi)

During this 12 hour event the crowd was entertained by MaXimus MiXers DJs Luisinho Rossini, Joachimmsz Beck and Digital Francis as well as DJs Twain DeCosta, Init Hubble and and new rising star, DJane Snowkitty Schmooz.  These DJs are some of the best in SL,  and each delivered an unforgettable set.  They must have been doing something right because a few times the sim filled up and we couldn't pack anyone else in!  

I had a great time as well.  There were moments when, during all that was going on, I'd halt everything.  And listen.  All of my senses honed in on the music, my body and my mind become intensely focused on each beat.  Anticipation builds.  Then (this is my favorite part) the music hits me like a wave crashing against the shore.  Shivers runs through my body.  And there I am, stunned, amazed and needing more.  

Thank you Aurora, Digital, wonderful DJs and sexy guests.  I look forward to seeing you soon at future Digital Nation events!!

Gorgeous sexy girls, Aurora and Queenie:
Aurora and Queen as the sun come up on Digital Nation

Digital Nation Headquarters:
Times Zones @ Digital Nation
More piccies here.

Back to School @ Rouge Sim

On Saturday, classes were back in session at Rouge Lounge.  Naughty school-girls ran amok, giving wedgies, throwing erasers and molesting fellow students.  DJs Professor Nexeus Fatale and Miss Cyberpink were there to entertain us with some unforgettable music lessons.  And of course Headmistress Codie was present to administer swift punishments with her ruler.  And I'm sure she took some girls into detention for more...ummm.....disciplinary action.

Thank you to all of the students that arrived in a timely fashion.  To those that were tardy or played hookie completely, "I'm telling!!"  

Back to School @ Rouge Lounge
More piccies here.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Pearls of Wisdom - It ain't my business. Or is it?

I usually try my best to abstain from getting into other peoples messes.  Much like the childhood game of telephone communications in SL become distorted and embellished upon. So any action by me would be based on false information and probably result in a bigger mess. And generally in time these messes clean themselves up and I can continue with my happy SLife.

Once in awhile the trouble festers and grows.  Over a period of time I hear the story retold. Eventually, when pieced together the picture becomes more clear. Recently I heard news of trouble brewing in SL amongst a group of people I socialize with.  As the story goes one person was using heavy handed techniques to push another person out of a social circle. It was essentially, "it's her or me, take your pick" combined with an under the breath "if you don't pick me you'll be sorry."  The fist time I heard this I rolled my eyes and thought, "oh brother, who does she think she is?"  Then I heard it again.  I thought, "maybe I should just keep clear of this for awhile."  And then I heard that her technique was working. That's when my brow furrowed and I began to ask, "why are people letting this happen?"  The simple answer I got was, "Because it isn't me, so why should I bother?"

Answers like this make my stomach turn. We are all part of a community and its absurd to think there is no consequence when we sit idly by while our neighbors are attacked.  When situations arise, like the one I've described above I'm reminded of this quote:
First they came first for the Communists, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist;
And then they came for the trade unionists, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist;
And then they came for the Jews, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew;
And then . . . they came for me . . . And by that time there was no one left to speak up.
- Pastor Martin Niemöller
Sometimes I can't find words of my own to express myself.  Or someone does it so much better. Here, Mr. Niemöller says in a few brief words what would take me an eternity to convey.  I'm sharing this with you (my 3 readers and a drop in) today because it has been helpful to me more times than I'd have liked. It is inevitable that you may find yourself in a similar situation as me and I'd encourage you to keep this quote in mind when deciding how you'd respond.

Note: The actual quote varies depending on what resource one refers to.  At this time I am more concerned about sharing the essence of the quote rather than a historical dissertation on it's origin.  Plenty of google hits if you're wanting more.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Gratuitous Piccy: upside down, boy you turn me.....

upside down, boy you turn me.....
Originally uploaded by Queen Coronet

Briddy, Moa, Queen and Init out for a drive. Yes, the ride was even more tumultuous insanity than the picture makes it appear!

Friday, August 8, 2008

Secret Agents and Betrayal, The Main/Alt Dilemma

Alts (alternative character/avatar) are inevitable.  I don't know an avie in SL that hasn't come from a main (main/original avatar) or gone off to live as an alt.  I find that typically a person takes an alt to escape the drama of their main, to explore SL in peace (away from the hustle and bustle of their main's active lifestyle), or perhaps to engage in behaviors that might not otherwise be acceptable among their current social circle.

Not many people know that Queen started as an alt.  The avatars that my original main spent time with were indulging in a life of drama.  The main could not log on without a "we need to talk."  Meanwhile, my mind was curious about other aspects of SL, places that I wanted to explore first on my own.  Ummmm, in private. *winks*  And so I decided it was time for a new avatar, an alt.  Being a Lucky Chair fanatic I thought a Q name would be lucrative, thus Queen was born.  Eventually, Queen's life became much more fun than the main's.  The new avatars and new experiences kept her coming back and slowly the original avatar faded away and Queen morphed into my main.

During that time I recall having pangs of guilt about not logging in as the main.  About not even stopping in to say hello. I suspected the friends the main had wondered why I was logging in less often, but I didn't really think they'd be bothered by my absence.  As it turns out, the friends of my main were hurt that I went away without telling them.  At the time I felt bad about it, but I couldn't really relate to what they felt.
Recently I've have a few experiences with my old friends disappearing because their main becomes so entangled in drama that it's easier to start a new life in a new sim.  Often I don't know what happened until I find later they entered witness protection program . . . as an alt.
I've also made new friends, who are alts coming in for one reason or another.  But, not yet ready to commit to their alt, they take their enjoyment of Queen and disappear.
Then of course are the avatars running around as secret agent alts coming in to spy on someone.  Come on, I know you've done it. 

At what point does the person's actions cross from a need for privacy into an act of betrayal?
A few weeks ago a good friend who was gone for a few months came back into the SLworld.  I should have been elated, but I was disturbed and upset.  I did not know it was her.  She was outed by a mutual friend.  Can you imagine the thoughts running through my mind?  How could she abandon me like she did and not even come back and say as much as a hello?  It was this moment that I felt as though all that we had experienced was for nothing.  Our minds had clicked so well, we had so many good times together, all the memories of the fun and frolicking were now marred by her betrayal of our friendship.  

It was as though she had tossed me into the wastebasket along with the other trash she had tossed out when she abandoned her main.  I recognized that she needed a break, and maybe even a fresh start, but she didn't take me with!  I worked myself into a fantastic frenzy.  And just as I was peaking an IM popped up.  Hello. Ahhhh, it was her!  As it turns out, her reintroduction to SLociety was not as she planned and we quickly were up to our old banter. was a horrible feeling.

And so it seems that the closer the friendship, the tighter the bond, the more likely that hiding an alt will be a crushing blow to those one leaves behind.  The next time your alt is out for naughty fun, secret agent duty, or escaping from a crazed ex don't forget those people behind the avatar that have invested time, emotion, and thoughtfulness into your friendship.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

i got blogged!

Blog about Queenie = must read, re-read, cut out and tape to the wall, then read again.

Thanks to The Digital Doll, Kandy Roussel, for this hard hitting, truth bound review of lil' ol' me.  

Latex Ball @ Rouge Sim

Oh what a night!! Squeaky fun was had by all!! Last week the plurkites were howling for a party to welcome back our Codie.  At the same time Codie was immersing herself in Hugo's Designs latex.  It wasn't difficult to see that the Rouge sim was about to be invaded by latex clad revelers in search of beats and an empty pole.  I quickly set to work to get this party started.  Checklist: DJs, Latex, powder, baby oil.

The guests cavorted about the Rouge sim in the sexiest, shiniest latex available.  Codie and her loves treated us to some entertainment in open chat that nearly had me in a blush!!  Eshi Otowara kept Crap Mariner on a tight leash for most of the evening, allowing her free time to shine a dance pole.  (Note: Crap is one of the most well mannered bot-pets I've met.) AND Oh my wows!! DJanes Elisha Richez and Shad Raffke graced us with their techno beats and their stunningly mad mixes!!  (*pats herself on the back for a hawt booking*.)  

Here's a few pics for your viewing pleasure and a few more here.

Crap Mariner - Unleashed!
Rouge Latex Ball - Crap Mariner

CodeBastard Redgrave and Night Morrisey - just before Codie opened up the buffet line.
Rouge Latex Ball005 - Code and Night

Queen Coronet in classic latex.  Always the lady.
Rouge Latex Ball - Queen Coronet