Pearls of Wisdom: It's OK to take a break.

Last night I was busy in SL diddling with some builds in my workshop while in RL I was tending to a creature recovering from the flu. In the midst of it all I received the most uncomfortable notice "XXX has dissolved your friendship." This is a strange feature included in the Emerald Viewer and while I find it interesting to know when I am dropped from a friends list, it leaves me wondering, "Wha?! What did i do?!" I deliberated for a few minutes and decided that my relationship with this person was important enough that I could not just let her go. I sent a quick IM to her letter her know and we had a conversation for a few minutes.

As it turns out she recently lost a dear loved one. And, as a result she's taking some time to evaluate her priorities and set her lives in order. For the moment SL just isn't very high on her list. And so she was engaging in some SL cleansing. I've done this so I am familiar with the process. It usually occurs when a person becomes disenchanted by SL or the people in their SLives. Thier profile gets cleaned of all but those that are the very closest, their friends list is pared down to a minimum, land is sold off, and in some cases inventory is purged. (ugh, i'm squirming just thinking of that extreme.) Often the external internet presence is also given a once over (i.e. plurk vacation, flickr accounts gone private, blogs put on hold.)

It astonished me that in our conversation she was very careful to assure me that it was not anything that I had done. Her words were laced with guilt for leaving friends behind in SL. I could sense the tug she felt between her desire to experience more in her RL and the obligation she felt to the friendships in her SL. My heart goes out to my friend and to others like her that feel torn between the two worlds. I'm not sure there is anything but experience that can teach a person how to cope in that situation, but I can assure you that it's possible to have both lives.

For those of you that are taking a break. It's OK. RL comes first. You're not abandoning anyone. We know this is hard for you and we'll support you in your decision.

For those of you that have a friend taking a break. It's OK. RL comes first. You're not being abandoned. This is hard for your friend that is leaving. Make sure they know that you support their decision. Let them go in peace. Please.


Queen & Co. Crying Plant #1
Available here.